In the Moment

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Be in the moment,
that’s what I want to do –
honor each emotion as it comes to me,
even when I’m blue

stop with the hating
and wishing I were better,
stop with the blaming
that I submitted so easily to the pressure

to be someone other
than who I really am
looking and acting like everyone else –
nothing but an insipid sham

so at this moment
i just want to be me
without the filters or the shame
it’s the only way to be.

Daily Prompt

Stumbling Towards Madness

Stumbling towards madness
that’s what we do
when we find ourselves hurtling
to the past that we once knew
where everything hurt
and life was just a game
so we lose ourselves in lies
feeling nothing but shame

so we stumble along
hoping for the best
there’s a finish line somewhere
if we simply follow the rest
there’s no need to worry
there’s no need to try
so we stumble towards this madness
and believe lie after lie

till the day we wake up
to find no one there
just a barren wasteland
what an endless nightmare
where everyone follows blindly
till the end of the unseen line
nothing but broken dreams
and we’ve run out of time

My Christmas Was Grand. How Was Yours?

So Christmas came and went
and I attended all parties but one
for after driving 250 miles for parties and overnighters
On Christmas day, I was just about done

Hacking and coughing,
not sleeping at all
Saying no to the 5-year old who won’t quit asking,
You could say I’m having a ball

So let me clear up my lungs
People think healing’s just a snap
But at least I can say I met Santa
even though I never got to sit on his lap

There were gifts aplenty
though I’ve long lost count
Santa’s been generous, it seems, this year
Even though his gifts all go on my account

But the 5-year old doesn’t know that yet
and maybe he never will
I just hope he knows he’s staying on the Naughty list
because next year, I won’t be able to foot the bill

So I hope your Christmas was grand
I know mine was okay
I missed one party, so it’s not all bad
Even if the party I missed was on Christmas day.

The Things We Choose To See

Why is the sky always falling
when there’s nothing that tells us it will
but the fears and worries constantly filling our minds
or maybe I’m just living in a dream world without any ill

but it’s there, wherever I go,
It was there when I grew up and they called it martial law
It was there when everyone wore yellow
It was there when the world watched a regime fall

It was there when young love came to me
kissed me and then went away
it was there when the tears fell
and the words tearing through my heart somehow found its way

onto the page, where no one could see
the fears and the joys that filled me to the brim
and then one day came the chance to show off
work that was once hidden deep within

and now, works pile up on the virtual page
on desktops, laptops and mobile screens
anything that comes to mind regurgitated,
I was no longer alone, joining drama kings and queens

who complained about everything
even the sky falling every day
to anyone who would listen, or read
as long as there was something they could say

But the sky isn’t falling
no matter how dystopian your world view may be
I just wish we could all see the good more than the bad
I wish the bad things in this world isn’t all that we choose to see.

When Self-Doubt Visits Me

meLpMPs
Image by Cristiano Galbiati

When self-doubt visits me,
it tells me I’m no good.
It tells me I’ll never make it, that I’ll amount
to nothing in this world

And sometimes I believe him
though sometimes I rage,
wishing the things he says aren’t true,
but even my lies are showing their age

I wish I had the courage to prove him wrong,
that some day, I know I can
rise up against him and win this time
for I know deep inside I’m no sham

For I can do this, and be quite good at it
even if doubt tells me, “No.”
But what does this old friend really know?
For nothing it sows, ever really grows.

Angry Cat

Today, you can write about whatever you what — but your post must include, in whatever role you see fit, a cat, a bowl of soup, and a beach towel.

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I do not like this, said the cat
this is demeaning
would you do this to the one you claim to love
just to stop me from preening?
I’m a cat for crying out loud
have you no eye for high art?
Still, you sit there sipping your bowl of soup –
why, you mean little tart!
Watch out, for one day,
I’ll have your evil heart…

Daily Prompt

Memories Of My Father

When I look at my son, I see his love for his father
and his father’s love for him
undying, never wavering
something that stems only from within
Yet when I think of my own father,
the well of memories run dry
there’s a bit of this, a snippet of that
there’s not a lot, no matter how hard I try
but one memory does stand out,
and it’s an obscure one at best
it’s when I woke up from surgery
and there he was, holding my hand, at rest
his eyes were closed, as if he were sleeping
and when I stirred, he, too, awoke
stroking my hand, avoiding the pic line
my own voice barely a croak
“Anesthesia can give you amnesia,” he said
“and I hope that you’re okay.”
But I knew then that even if I forgot all
I’d never forget that day
For that’s the only time I ever saw him
so vulnerable and so alone,
he loved me the best he ever could
doing everything so I could stand on my own.
But amnesia hits me now as I sit here
thinking of moments that we once shared
for all that comes is when he stroked my hand that day
a hero so vulnerable, his greatest weakness bared.

Because Sometimes I Like To Sketch…

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Because sometimes I like to sketch,
and sometimes I like to dream
sometimes I go from one end to the other
often to each extreme.
Sometimes I dream in color,
yet sometimes it’s black and white,
always allowing in the grays
just before the coming of the night.
Sometimes I see things in pieces
sketch them one part at a time,
sometimes they never come together,
sometimes it’s simply my design,
for in this life, stories never end
yet some of them end too soon,
so I keep on going till I reach the edges
I keep on going till I run out of room.

 

So Much To Say

For the first time in a long time
I thought of you today
the second of my two fathers
there is so much I want to say –

you were the first man to believe in me
not because you wanted something back,
you stood by me when no one else did
even if it made you different from the pack

Even when you’d be ostracized,
set aside, and ignored
you stood by me no matter what,
even when there was no reward

And when I left, it was so sudden
I never really said good-bye
I always thought I’d see you again
I never thought that you’d die

The wind rustled the leaves outside
the day you breathed your last
though I was a thousand miles away from  you
it was your whisper of the past

of the days we danced to Broadway songs,
tuning that shortwave radio
to listen to a recipe about cookies
even when there was barely any audio

but we laughed through the static
we laughed with real smiles
you gave me my first real hug
you made so many things worthwhile

like that bond between stepfather and daughter
even if it came just a bit late,
but you arrived just in time
before bitterness would have turned to hate

I don’t really know why
I thought of you today,
but it was time that I did
for there was so much I wanted to say.