connection

it was never about the sex.
it was always about connection.
it was never about the way you moved
(well, maybe a little)
it was more than a simple distraction
and as long as you’re willing to keep on going
then i’m game, too
for as long as this connections holds, baby
it’ll always be with you

discarded notes: 14

is there a secret to falling in love
or is being in lust with you
so much easier on the heart
that i should refrain
from letting my mind tell me
to stop and just go for the ride
and fall and drown,
and like a magic trick,
appear unbruised,
like new?

muse

you are my muse
and that is the truth, at least for now,
pulling me from the depths of despair
i find myself in somehow
preferring the comfort of the darkness
when there is so much light out there
until your smile, your eyes, your voice
prove the perfect snare

so keep me under your spell
for as long as you truly can
dance with me to the tune of my wildness.
be my hero, be my man
and i’ll write you until my tears run out
and i’ll need to cut open a vein
and let my fears and dreams and love spill out,
and all that my heart cannot contain.


here and now

i don’t care what you look like for i know what’s deep inside your heart
you’re a man who gives me what i need even if tears you apart

for it takes more than knowing the right words to say, it’s knowing when and why
it’s being there for me the only way you know how, your voice is my nightly lullaby

as you tell me i’m a good person and that i did my best at the end of every day
letting me rest my head on your chest as you whisper my troubles away

and even when i say bad things in anger, lashing out at you the only way i know how
you stay when you could easily leave. you bring me back to the here and now


discarded notes: 12

know my name
though i go by many
know it anyway
for it’s the only way
i know you see me
and see that beyond
the masks i wear
to protect my heart,
only you know
what lies inside
wishing it’ll remain unhurt
until the game we play
finally runs its course
and i’ll be left with nothing
but bitter remorse

rush

i rushed in
too fast and too soon
completely forgetting
to check the room.
was i wanted?
could i stay?
do you think me weird
for the things i say?
awkward, that’s me
although that’s the way
i’ve always been
too quick to jump in
too fast to trust
when will i ever learn
that some things,
like love,
you simply
cannot rush.

simplicity’ sake

i woke up to a beautiful sight today,
your face veiled in the dawning light
before losing myself in your warm embrace
remembering the words you said last night

we’ve come a long way, you and me
with each passing day building up to the next
secrets told and dreams shared
yet everything about us is so complex

but for simplicity’s sake, tell me again how i touch you
and i’ll whisper the ways you continue to change my world
how you remind me i’m worthy in so many ways
for with every word spoken or unspoken, my heart learns

next to you

i love waking up next to you
nestled in the comfort of your arms
i love waking up to the sound of your voice
its deep tones tinged with sleep is my daily alarm

but let’s stay under the covers a few minutes more
for i crave to feel your ache
and lose myself in your need for what i can give you
until we both come apart and break.

words

you let me find
your quiet place,
and asked me
to sit with you
and in the ensuing
silence we said words
we’d never shared
with anyone before –
words of comfort,
love and so much more
words meant only
for our lonely souls to hear
as you lay your hand
over my heart and said,
no matter where i go,
wherever i may be,
just close your eyes
and find me right here.


scars

no one knows how deep our scars run
and sometimes not even we do
until someone comes and traces the marks
and to our horror, the wounds open up again
too soon

far sooner than we were prepared to staunch the flow
of not just blood, but memories and shame
the very ones that kept us scarred and broken,
long after we’ve forgotten
their names

but for your words and the sound of your voice,
this time something was different
for together with the stigma and the blame
that may have accompanied them, there, too,
was redemption

an acceptance that none of it was my fault
or my own doing, nothing i deserved or asked for.
and i can finally move on because you saw something
i long forgot, that i am worthy and i am worth
fighting for.