some days, it can be tough when we realize we’ll never be enough for the world that’s waiting out there demanding that we be perfect and live a life with flair gain more followers! build up your likes! do something original, they say, and watch your numbers spike!
but as uncertainty creeps in and you wonder what you’re doing wrong it’s easy to forget that once you turn everything off, you’re still as strong as you were in the morning before you took it all in—anxiety and self-doubt— time to kick those naysayers out for you’re okay just the way you are with your easy smile and gentle heart so come sit with me a while, it’s time for a fresh start 🙂
if i were to do it all over again, i’d tell the younger version of myself to love herself more. i’d tell her to leave every man who told her she wasn’t good enough for she’s stronger than she’ll ever know.
i’d tell her she wasn’t fat, that being a size 12 was just fine. i’d remind her that she thought the same thing when she was a size ten even if she won’t remember that time.
i’d tell her she’ll create art she’ll later destroy, and that she’ll create something that will live forever. i’d tell her to speak her truth now even if she’ll change her mind about things later.
i’d tell her to report the rape for she did nothing wrong that night. i’d beg her to stop carrying the shame of not putting up a fiercer fight.
i’d remind her not to try smoking even if all she wanted was to write about it. but she won’t have to worry about the weed because she’ll never learn to hold it.
i’d tell her to stay for the right reasons even though she’d end up doing it for the wrong ones. but you can only control so much – you win some and you lose some.
i wanted to tell her these things and more but she ran off before i could, too intent to live her life on her own terms even if she’d always be misunderstood.
thank you that’s all i can say thank you for showing me the good in every day the happy smiles, the laughter, each naughty thought, every honest answer everything about you i’m so grateful for and if others can’t see it let them go just don’t forget the strength inside your heart for your whole is so much better than just the parts that others want you to be unable to see what i’ve always seen a soul so fearless and loving it’s what you’ve always been.
they say people come into your life
for a reason. is that why you came in
like a hurricane i never expected
but in the end, i desperately needed?
for i'd been asleep at the wheel, too lost
in my sadness to know i had to wake up
if i wanted something worthwhile to sow,
but only if i plucked the courage
to pursue my passion without
any hesitation and finish
what needed to be done after i forgot
what it felt like to have fun and
fall in love with you even if
you only meant to stay
until i found my way.
you changed the language of my heart and the alphabet of my soul, little things that aren’t so little but i just thought you should know before you leave to find your own way i can never repay you enough but because of you i’m happy for the little things again, even the most trivial of stuff like the memory of your love and your hand over this broken heart, the sound of your voice that echoes still reminding me i’m beautiful, worthy and smart, constantly rewriting what was once written there, turning apathy and self-loathing into passion and self-care. and all this because once upon a time, you dared.
i found a post-it note from you today
it fell from the book you last read
tell her she's beautiful, you wrote
words you whispered as you kissed my forehead
the day you told me i'd find love again
that all i had to do was close my eyes
and you'd be right there with me
and that we'd both be just fine
that i'd always feel your love wherever i went
as i'd run headfirst into love
i just had to trust myself again
and then you were gone