a worthwhile sin (NYC 2000)

i met you one night and my whole life
changed, in a blink of an eye blind
i could not, just could not remain the same
impassive, disenchanted, disemboweled within
my soul in desperate need of
a worthwhile sin
awakening the ghost
of the woman i once was,
a specter of the soul that breathed
its final gasp, and for a brief
moment, i’m home
at last

club 101 (NYC 2000)

the trumpeter rules with his jazz melodies
and my heart weeps with each note
it’s raw and needy and plucks at each heart
string pulled so tight it could almost break
and sever
our ties
but the trumpeter still rules in the darkness
of Club 101 and we sit
and laugh and drink beers like fish
listening to the blues
coming from
lonely hearts.

Wind

 

sandi_fb1_wind

You are like the wind, ever blowing into my life
And then disappearing like a wisp of a breeze

A touch of a hand along the nape of my neck
A whisper of a name against my ear
A sudden kiss to disarm my lips
The heat of your body when you’re near

Like the wind, you come to me, taking me for a spin,
And just like the wind, you steal away too soon.

Changed

How things have changed between us
since the last time we parted ways,
I no longer see that swagger in your walk
nor that glint of mischief on your face

How life must have played tricks on us
since that last hello that we said
No more fears written all over my face,
nor visions of love dancing inside my head

How strange the way Fate ultimately plays us
like pieces on its worn-out chess board
Sometimes the moves are way too savvy
yet there are those done by one, as if now bored.

Once your luck was placed high above mine –
or so it seemed then to you and me
but Fate had other ideas and swept that board clean,
held you down for what seemed like eternity

Now here we are again tonight
as we sit across each other in silence
You in your place and I in mine
There’s no more time for pretense

For things have changed ever so subtly
and we’re no longer the same as we were before
How you and I have grown apart so quickly
You’re no longer the man that I once longed for.

Darkness

Darkness falls around me,
evil lurks wherever I tread
afraid to reach out, my hands frozen
in fear I wallow, I might as well be dead

What demons do I cower from?
What cherubs have I driven away?
How this putrid chill engulfing my soul
overwhelms the dawn of each new day.

Leading myself out of this darkness, I struggle
gathering threads of courage to face my fears
yet never have I been so lonely in my sorrows
drowning in an abyss of my own tears.

Still Growing

Photo1-2

Growing up is such a wonderful thing
a blissful affair, wrought with worries imagined
One day, the sun rises and as usual, it sets
We laugh it seems for hours, then suddenly lost in distress

Bursting forth from our shells, we flourish
Exuding such wit, such charm
Then dark days set upon us and we despair
lost in the wasteland of our minds, respite nowhere.

But in our hearts we come to find
treasures for so long, overlooked
We’ve searched in all the wrong places all this time
Untrained soloists with all the rhythm but no rhyme

Grown up, yet still growing, we travel ever on
Through high roads and low roads, to no roads at all
And with lessons in hand, we strive to create
through high roads and no roads, onwards to our fate.

Once, Long Ago

I have grown to love you
It’s so true
You have entered my life to be
the one love that could never be
But lest you forget, please remember
My feelings are not mere toys for
your pleasure
My love is not a trophy for all to see
I just wish, in one fleeting moment
that you will love me
I have long grown accustomed to your face
I have learned to quake at your embrace
a solitary kiss
maybe long
maybe true
I have missed that touch, a glance
I have prayed for more than just one chance
Yet all these could mean nothing
to you
What am I to do?
For some, love comes and then it goes
But for me, it stays in my heart
for it knows
the beating, so strong, so true
it spells out my love for you
My heart will be breaking
the day you will have to go
Just never forget that long ago
Once, I loved you so