i sometimes feel things too deeply
though there are days i barely notice the sun
too lost in my own emotions
tangled in regrets of things done… and not done
maybe one day i’ll learn to move on
maybe the time will come when i’ll have no choice
but to walk away from the lies you keep saying
maybe then i’ll find my voice
it’s been eleven days since you left
and i think i’m doing okay
the words have finally started to flow
they come more and more each day
but sometimes i see something
that inevitably reminds me of you
followed by that familiar tug inside my chest
before i tell myself not to feel so blue
for you are where you need to be right now
unencumbered and free
you’ve moved on and one day, I will, too,
even if sometimes it’s not that easy
i’m over it
i’m over you
i’m done figuring out the whys
i’m done thinking of you
because at the end of the day
it boils down to this:
i kept on going
and you simply quit
so i’m done with the wondering
i’m done with the regret
it’s time to move on along
but to never forget
that life can be beautiful
life can be kind
there’s so much to be discovered
just waiting for the right time
but only if you believe
life’s constant ebb and flow
that some days you win and some days you lose
and some days you just have to let go
Baby steps still
that’s all I’ve done so far
making these life changes ever so slowly
taking too long though, like a dying star
but it’s really why I do it
all these changes life throws at me
like the unhappiness I feel these days
doing something that used to make me so happy
like teaching others
about touch and similar things just like it
but I hate seeing the indifference
they’re only there for the hours on their transcript
that even if some of them
truly do enjoy the stuff I do
it’s too late, and it’s time to move on
do something else, like the things I really want to
like writing
and everything that comes with it
the pain, the heartache and most of all the joy –
so I might as well get on with it.
Your coming back into town
doesn’t excite me anymore,
I no longer sit and count the hours
nor keep watch at the door
I no longer think of your face,
those blue eyes that once shone so bright
I no longer remember those lips,
everything about you has turned cold as ice
I no longer wish to see you again,
though I often catch myself wanting to know
how you’re doing without me wherever you are
does life become much easier once we go?
I no longer remember the curves of your face
though sometimes I catch myself thinking of us
back when things were much simpler and real
when neither one of us made such a fuss
But life has a way to tell us
that it’s high time we have to move on,
time to let go of those forgotten dreams
time to accept the reality that you and I are done
what then if he’s not the man
you think he is, this man of your dreams?
what then would you do
when he reveals himself, not at all
like the man you believe he seems
to be on the outside,
the lover you wish for
what if he doesn’t fulfill all that you see in him
for there are certain things
just too hard to ignore
but let me not shatter the dreams you’ve dreamed of
for so long now
the years, they’ve come and gone and you’re still here
but he’s been long gone somehow
gone to fulfill his own destiny,
so far removed from your own
and you’re still here picking up the pieces
I wonder how long you’ve known
that he was never going to be the one for you
the one that your heart has long wished for
for you’ve latched on to nothing but a dream
and now there’s just emptiness
and an open door…
it’s just another day in my neighborhood
it’s a new place for me still
even though it’s been seven years since I moved in
all those years in a standstill,
still holding on to the place I used to call home,
the one I left so long ago
refusing to move on and move forward
refusing to see what I’d always known
that nothing stays the same,
even rituals come and go
life is always in a flux
this, I’m sure, you and I both know
for each day is an adventure
each morning a new beginning
my days, though they seem, always constant
are spent without any misgivings.
so it’s just another day in my neighborhood
the place I now yearn to know
I’ve waited seven years to finally discover it
seven years till I finally let go.
How things have changed between us
since the last time we parted ways,
I no longer see that swagger in your walk
nor that glint of mischief on your face
How life must have played tricks on us
since that last hello that we said
No more fears written all over my face,
nor visions of love dancing inside my head
How strange the way Fate ultimately plays us
like pieces on its worn-out chess board
Sometimes the moves are way too savvy
yet there are those done by one, as if now bored.
Once your luck was placed high above mine –
or so it seemed then to you and me
but Fate had other ideas and swept that board clean,
held you down for what seemed like eternity
Now here we are again tonight
as we sit across each other in silence
You in your place and I in mine
There’s no more time for pretense
For things have changed ever so subtly
and we’re no longer the same as we were before
How you and I have grown apart so quickly
You’re no longer the man that I once longed for.
