here and now

i don’t care what you look like for i know what’s deep inside your heart
you’re a man who gives me what i need even if tears you apart

for it takes more than knowing the right words to say, it’s knowing when and why
it’s being there for me the only way you know how, your voice is my nightly lullaby

as you tell me i’m a good person and that i did my best at the end of every day
letting me rest my head on your chest as you whisper my troubles away

and even when i say bad things in anger, lashing out at you the only way i know how
you stay when you could easily leave. you bring me back to the here and now


i rushed in
too fast and too soon
completely forgetting
to check the room.
was i wanted?
could i stay?
do you think me weird
for the things i say?
awkward, that’s me
although that’s the way
i’ve always been
too quick to jump in
too fast to trust
when will i ever learn
that some things,
like love,
you simply
cannot rush.

next to you

i love waking up next to you
nestled in the comfort of your arms
i love waking up to the sound of your voice
its deep tones tinged with sleep is my daily alarm

but let’s stay under the covers a few minutes more
for i crave to feel your ache
and lose myself in your need for what i can give you
until we both come apart and break.


you let me find
your quiet place,
and asked me
to sit with you
and in the ensuing
silence we said words
we’d never shared
with anyone before –
words of comfort,
love and so much more
words meant only
for our lonely souls to hear
as you lay your hand
over my heart and said,
no matter where i go,
wherever i may be,
just close your eyes
and find me right here.


i need a break
from all the madness,
just a short respite with you
the sight of your smiling face,
the feel of your embrace,
how they have the power to undo
the sadness that often hits me
when the days are long and hard
and the loneliness that engulfs me
when i find myself constantly on guard
from the demons circling, searching
for every vulnerability they can find,
until the sound of your voice
sends them fleeing
into the night.


i am strong…
stronger than anyone will ever know
for deep in my heart is a lioness
just waiting to come out and roar
knowing she’s deserving of everything
this life has to offer and so much more.

so i may be down right now.
i may look like i’m out
but know that behind the scenes
i’m picking up my broken pieces
knowing i’ll be stronger come morning.
of that, there is no doubt.

for i am worthy. i am more than enough.
you can kick me all you want it won’t hurt me
for underneath the grime of the tears
you may see right now, I am tough.
and I am so much more than what you see,
i am enough.


tell me the things you dream of when no one is looking
whisper them in my ear so only i can hear
about the things i do that make your heart go a-flutter
tell me everything before this moment between us disappears

for nothing can last forever
not even the moments we treasure inside our hearts
believing them safe from envious prying eyes
who want nothing more but to pick our love apart

and fling everything we once shared in the cold and dank wind
laugh in our faces and say, oh those poor souls
so tell me now those secrets you’ve long kept hidden
before they rip apart two hearts that were once fully whole


i’m addicted to the longing of you,
the sight of your eyes, the sound of your voice,
the feel of your body pressed against mine
leaving me with no other choice

but to crave the things i cannot have
even as the scent of you still lingers on my pillow
as I lie here thinking of you on a sunday morning
half-listening to the wind blowing outside my window.

for this familiar ache you continue to tease out of me
is a gift i cherish every single day,
a reminder that i still breathe, i still love…
and i still miss you long after you’ve gone away.

sehnsucht - German word meaning a longing, a desire for something unattainable