NaPoWriMo Day 9: Off Keel

I heard you died today at 5:30 pm
it’s strange to say this out loud,
but I don’t know how to feel,
why I feel like crying when I shouldn’t,
why I’m feeling a bit off keel

for you stole something from me then
while at the same time
you gave me something in return
childhood and trust slowly peeled away
just for the chance to be heard

you made me lose trust in people
and later, made me question my desires
you made me strong enough to leave home
you made a part of me crave
what the world told me was wrong

I should have hated you for what you did,
but you listened to me when no one had the time
exacting a price in return that no one would believe
while I waited for this day, hoping
maybe I’d get back what was mine

but it’s a hollow victory, really…
for why do I feel like I’ve lost
something deep?
Did your poisoned apple shape me, after all,
a gift from you that’s become our secret to keep?