too late

i found a book i used to write my dreams in
my hopes from twenty years ago
all forgotten until i flipped open the pages
and found myself gazing at a woman i used to know.

she dreamed of rock climbing and traveling
to Paris, the Brontë sisters’ moors, and Rome,
she dreamed of a cottage on a hill blanketed in fresh snow,
wishing one day she’d have a beautiful home of her own.

she dreamed of time slowing down for a kiss from her beloved
his ring around her finger glittering in the sunlight
she dreamed all these things and more
until reality swallowed every single hope in one bite

i should return the book on the shelf and pretend i never found it
for it’s too late for me to dream such silly things,
but she pressed the book to my breast and whispered,
it’s never too late to live the life you still believe in.

dream

i dreamt of you last night
for the first time since you left
i felt you right here with me
so beautiful, no one would ever have guessed

how you simply walked away this month last year
from the world that could use your passion now
your tenacity at fighting for others gone
you simply didn’t see this life worth living somehow

and i’ve been angry this entire time since
for things between us didn’t end as well as we thought
you told me things i’ll never forget
nineteen years of friendship all for nought

but i dreamt of you last night anyway
you stood alone next to my bed
he wasn’t with you this time around
did he wait for you or did he simply go ahead?

maybe it was our last goodbye,
one to replace the angry words we exchanged that final day
when i begged you to reconsider continuing on
until we both ran out of things to say.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

NaPoWriMo Day 11: Unravel

Stitch after stitch she counts them
remembering how she earned every single one
scars unseen but never forgotten
of a life half-lived with so much more to be done

she’d have unraveled a long time ago
were it not for dreams yet to be fulfilled
of doing what she loved no matter how hard
even if she had to rebuild

and so she counts the lines one by one
jagged and often, still cutting deep
but she’s determined to claim what is hers
the life she’s yearned for, all hers to keep

Via Daily Prompt: Unravel

NaPoWriMo Day 2: Stray

Bathed in the remains of the day
she lays quietly, undisturbed
ruminating on the life we’ve lived so far
wondering what awaits us in this world

so many questions,
so many lies
as she seeks for answers
from behind my eyes

so she lays quietly like she always does
capturing the last of the sun’s rays,
pondering the future that lies ahead of us
till she closes her eyes, and lets her dreams stray

When Words Failed Me

20140720-151607-54967379.jpgWhen words failed me
once upon a time
I drew out my heart
and carved out the rhymes
that fell out of it
every damn word
I drew every tear of pain
for every word, unheard

And when it was all over
when all I wanted was to destroy every one
every page bearing proof  of my despair,
a time when I was undone,
you kept them all hidden
you kept them all safe from me
the one for whom each stroke of my pen –
to my scarred lock, was its key

Back Of the Line

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to starting (an activity, a hobby, or anything else, really)? Tell us about it — and tell us about what’s keeping you from doing it.

There’s a girl with dark hair that stands at the back of the line
back again where she started, only this time, she’s run out of time
for she’s made many mistakes, way too many for her to count
all because she tried to do everything right,  even as the casualties mount
of the dreams that she’s given up, way too many to mention
of the dreams that she’s had to let go, just to avoid contention.

But were she to do it all over again, she’d move herself out of the line
out of the numbing queue before she runs out of time
she’ll write the stories yearning to be free even if no one will read them
she’ll do the things she really wants to do even if she’ll be condemned
for this time, she’s got dreams that she knows will last her forever
this time, she’s got her whole life ahead of her –
a life to do over.

Daily Prompt

Silence Never Broken

autumn_hapleka

i’m a talkative one, most people say
once you get me going, I’ve got a whole lot of things to say
yet sometimes I know it’s best to be quiet,
not say the things I really want to say,
best to be silent
for my muteness can say so much,
so much more than what you already know,
there’s so much inside me that needs to get out
but all I really want to do is go
somewhere where the wind rustles the leaves
where the rain drips down from the eaves
where the dew glistens on leaves of green
where my eyes see what cannot be seen
where the words find their meanings in the wind
like butterfly wings, suddenly unpinned
so silence is golden, it really is
for there are no words to say what I really feel
like curtains drawn upon the stage
though this time, there is no reveal.

Daily Prompt