one more time

like a butterfly landing

on my unsuspecting shoulder

or the palm of my hand,

i will hold your love close to my heart

knowing you can leave

any time you want.

but if i could be selfish

for just one moment

i would ask you to stay

just a bit longer

long enough to feel your heart

beat against my cheek

just one more time.

if i could

if i could give you all the love in the world,
i would write it all down in a book
in all the languages that i could think of
no matter how long it took

so i caught all the words I needed one day
telling them they were meant for someone precious to me
a good friend with the biggest heart
who reminded me i was loved and that i was worthy

of everything good the world had to offer
just like he deserved only the very best, too,
i wanted him to know all this and more
so i begged Love to be still before my plan would fall through

but all the words had other plans
as they struggled to lift off the page
ruffling the pages of the book in front of me
for they did not wish to be caught nor caged

we do best when we’re set free, they said
and that’s exactly what you’re going to do
so you can give him all the love you could ever want
matching every bit of love he gave to you

for some things in life are simpler than they seem
like a heartfelt wish sent with the purest intentions
so if you wish to let him know how you truly feel
just say the words
, no need to make an impression

and after some thought, that’s exactly what i did
as i flipped through all the pages and let the words go
for you already know how much you mean to me,
i just wanted the rest of the world to know.

love affair

i’ve finally decided to have a love affair
a heck of a surprising discovery
for while i was setting up a zoom call
i found someone beautiful looking back at me

maybe it was the lighting that played on her face
even if she was clearly in some drab kitchen
with fridge magnets spelling D I N N E R behind her
it took less than a minute… but i was smitten

there was warmth to her smile
a glint of mischief in her eyes
and when she said, why hello there stranger
i could tell she was funny, caring, and wise

i didn’t notice the wrinkles on her face
or the gray roots that she somehow missed
all i saw was a woman who glowed from the inside
someone who was grateful to exist

how i wanted to be just like her
a woman so confident in her own skin
that’s when she said, oh dear heart but i am you
and you already have everything you need within

Not All Disabilities Are Visible

Not a poem today but a post about something near and dear to my heart.

Today, December 3, is the International Day of People with Disabilities 2020, “an annual occasion designated to join together to support people with disability in our communities, and raise awareness of the importance of creating a future where people with disabilities experience equal opportunity and face no barriers in all aspects of their lives— whether it be going about their day-to-day lives with adequate accessibility in their communities, joining the workforce, or being able to showcase their abilities and reach their goals without facing barriers.”

The theme this year is “Not All Disabilities are Visible,” which also “focuses on spreading awareness and understanding of disabilities that are not immediately apparent, such as mental illness, chronic pain or fatigue, sight or hearing impairments, diabetes, brain injuries, neurological disorders, learning differences and cognitive dysfunctions, among others.”

I started MorrighansMuse in 2012 after my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. During that time, I hadn’t written in over eight years but with his diagnosis came so many conflicting emotions and major denial. I wanted to journal everything I was feeling but I just couldn’t. Somehow, I thought a blog would allow me to process them. But instead of posts about living with autism, I wrote mostly about other things stemming from my depression, childhood sexual abuse, the death of my father, and the occasional broken heart. Some poems never see the light of day simply because they are too personal to share, and may be too triggering for some readers. But whether or not I shared them, through this blog I was able to heal, and in the process, be a better human being to everyone around me.

I’m still a work-in-progress, but that’s what life is all about. You keep going.

With the current COVID-19 pandemic, many people are isolated and disconnected, their routines interrupted. Services normally available to those in need have been disrupted as well. It is my hope that today, we can raise awareness for people around us who may be suffering alone, unseen. If you can, please check in on your friends and loved ones, colleagues and neighbors.

You can learn more about International Day of People with Disabilities and how you can help by clicking here.

one step at a time

what do you dream of
when you close your eyes?
do you see a future filled with possibilities
or do you see a past littered with lies—

the ones you told yourself
when you thought no one was looking
the ones that shaped the way you saw the world
making you believe you didn’t deserve anything?

where did things change for you?
when did they fall apart?
was it when they said you couldn’t do anything right
or was it when he broke your heart?

was it the day they promised you the world
but never came back?
will you believe me if i tell you
that you can get yourself back on track

to a place where possibilities are endless
where hope and joy spring from deep within
one step at a time, one win at a time,
all we have to do is believe… and begin.


you’re okay

some days, it can be tough
when we realize we’ll never be enough
for the world that’s waiting out there
demanding that we be perfect and live a life with flair
gain more followers! build up your likes!
do something original
, they say, and watch your numbers spike!

but as uncertainty creeps in and you wonder what you’re doing wrong
it’s easy to forget that once you turn everything off, you’re still as strong
as you were in the morning before you took it all in—anxiety and self-doubt—
time to kick those naysayers out
for you’re okay just the way you are with your easy smile and gentle heart
so come sit with me a while, it’s time for a fresh start 🙂


sunday mornings

how i love sunday mornings
when you pull me ever so close
under the covers, kissing, teasing
little moments i love the most

like when you growl playfully in my ear
and call me, baby girl
your touch sends tingles from my head to my toes
and those butterflies, how their wings unfurl

i love the pauses between your kisses
when you look up at me and laugh
a mischievous sound with the power to undo me
you are my love, my life, my other half

let’s stay in bed for the rest of the day
let’s lose ourselves in each others’ arms
crave me, make love to me…
you’re the only one who can calm my storms

listen to the audio

Happy New Year! Let’s Rock 2015!

“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”

Eric Zorn

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Well, Wattpad has crunched their numbers and here’s how my year apparently looked like to their computer algorithm program…thingy.

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

So to everyone who’s come to visit my site this year, thank you and let’s all make 2015 rock with more!

I know I’ve dropped out of blogging everyday, but only because I had to put on the writer’s hat starting June of this year.  I had made it my goal to publish a book for 2014, and I did, though once it probably meets the eyes of an editor mid-2015 it will most likely result in work that’s way better than it it currently is.

Still, that’s still a book out, so self-pubbed or not, that’s an accomplishment in my book.

So Happy New Year, everyone!  And so far, here’s the New Years Eve forecast for me in chilly-ass SoCal: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.

So no matter the outcome, vertical or not – Happy Happy New Year!

 

10 Things I Love About Wattpad

I’ve been on Wattpad since October 2012, and since then, I’ve been writing up a storm.  I wrote way before that, and even after I stopped writing for 10 years and resumed in August 2012, no platform online could allow me to really connect with readers and fellow writers like Wattpad does.  So  with my 2-year anniversary fast approaching, here are 10 reasons why I’m still on Wattpad – and maybe why you should consider checking it out as well.

  1. You get to write your stories!
    According to Wattpad, the site has 40 million stories with 25 million readers/writers and the number is growing! 6 billion minutes are spent on Wattpad every month and 85% of its usage is on mobile.  Just yesterday, my client arrived and saw me reading a Wattpad novel on my iPhone.  He said that he reads most of his books from his phone these days, simply because it’s the one thing you never leave home without.
    Oh, and with the Wattpad app, you can also write your stories while on the go.  I do that while waiting to pick up my son from pre-school or while sitting at the doctor’s office.
  2. You get to interact with your readers and build an audience.
    This is a huge plus in my book.  You see, writing is such a solitary sport.  Like Neil Gaiman says, we have keyboards and we work in the dark.   And unless my neighbors drag me out for some Vitamin D, I’d probably be sitting in front of my keyboard typing away all day and night.  Even my 4-year old is getting in on the act when he says, “mama go to the gym.”
    But as far as interacting with readers, understand that you’ll usually get non-professional feedback, so if you want professional editing feedback, Wattpad isn’t the place for it.  However, there are certain groups on there who give constructive criticism on certain stories – you just have to opt in.  I’ve read the critiques, and they are spot on.
  3. You get to interact with writers like you 
    I’ve met some wonderful writers on wattpad. Published or not, they’re all writers to me – or authors, however you want to call it.  Some people out there want to argue the semantics of it, but if you write, you’re a writer.  And while the argument can go on and on online, on Wattpad, there really is no argument because we’re all in the same boat.  We’re all writers just as much as we’re readers.  And the writers I’ve met have helped me get better.  We cheer each other on and promote each others’ work.  We pat each other on the back and cheer each other up when we’re down.  Oh, did I mention that it’s a social site as well?
  4. You get to read stories – for free.
    Even the classics are getting uploaded on Wattpad, so if you want to read Pride and Prejudice or Wuthering Heights, along with the latest novel your favorite author just penned, you can find it all in one place. You can even follow classic (dead) authors like Edgar Allan Poe and get notifications of “latest” works uploaded.  As for current authors, not yet published or already published, you get that for free, too.  Some of them post their rough drafts on Wattpad while the fully edited book may be available for sale online; or some, after featuring the full draft as they wrote it, remove all but the first three chapters with links on where to buy the full book.
  5. Famous writers are now on Wattpad.
    I think the first one I noticed was Margaret Atwood.  She currently has a fan fiction writing contest based on her book The Mattress called Freeze-Dried Fan Fiction Contest.  Paul Coelho is also on Wattpad, and here, he stumbled upon a post of his own comments on writing, compiled by a blogger named Jerome.  Then there R.L. Stine of Goosebumps series, who has a contest running as well – he already wrote the first chapter of a story and you get to fill in what comes next.  And if he picks your story, he’ll finish it.
  6. Contests and tie-ins
    As #5 above, with Atwood and Stine’s writing contests, there are other contests for aspiring writers to hone their writing skills with.  Today is the last day for The Best of Me movie/book tie-in where writers come up with their “First love” stories under 1500 words. The winner getting a shout-out on Nicholas Sparks’ blog is one of the perks of one’s story being chosen.
    And what do you know – after @monrosey suggested I should write something, I dug deep into the recesses of my young love memories, and did!
  7. There are clubs where you can interact with like-minded people.
    These clubs can be anything – whether by book genre, a discussion on answers to hard questions, or book cover help.  I subscribe to one particular forum called The ?uestions and I have to admit, sometimes the questions are really interesting, and the answers from fellow writers more interesting still – some even triggering simply because I’ve been in my little hidey-hole all this time.
  8. Being on Wattpad where you get to post your stories for all to see (unless you post it as Private, which is visible only to your followers), puts you out there!
    Of course there are some cons to one’s decision to post their stories online.  Piracy is rampant everywheree.  I’ve heard of stories being pirated and sold elsewhere, and of course, one’s stories on Wattpad can easily fall in the wrong hands.  It is a risk that one takes to post on sites like Wattpad and other places online (fanfiction.net, AO3, figment, Goodreads).
    Wattpad states that you keep copyright of your work.  An online record shows when your work was posted on their site, seen when you hover over the chapter cover.
  9. Publishers go on Wattpad searching for new talent
    While some publishers frown on submitted work having appeared on Wattpad, there have also been success stories of writers being discovered on Wattpad and offered publishing deals.
  10. You get to read and write. Then repeat it all over again.
    There really is more to Wattpad than the first 9 things but the 10th is just going to be reading and writing.  If you’re a writer, published or not, or want to be published, Wattpad is definitely a place to check out.  Don’t be discouraged by the demographics of young readers or the multitude of One Direction fan fiction.  No matter what your age, you can find your audience on Wattpad – that is, if you read other people’s works as well.  And if anything, isn’t that one of the things that makes a good writer – that he/she reads as well?  And so while the works may not be all top-notch and perfect, we’ve all been there, and who knows?  Your heartfelt comment on someone’s story just might get that person to keep on writing, just as someone else’s comment on your stories will do the same for you.

Anyway, at this point I’m rambling. So if you haven’t checked out Wattpad yet, definitely give it a go.  Rowena Wiseman wrote about the 8 reasons she loves Wattpad, so do mosey on down to her amazing blog for her thoughts as well.

And if you’re already on Wattpad, come over and say hello!  I’m @morrighansmuse (just about everywhere online anyway) and I’d love to hear from you!

An Author-ly Move: My Own Author Facebook Page

So I’ve finally gotten around to making my author Page on Facebook.  Because hubby wasn’t thrilled I was planning on using my married name and my middle name for a pen name (we might just get disowned if they read my stuff!), I figured, to heck with it – for the last two years, I’ve been Morrighan’s Muse.  So I’m going to just be Morrighan Muse and be done with it.

BTW, this really shouldn’t be how one chooses a pen name but maybe it was meant to be.  Other names I thought of were already taken, and they were all plays of my own name.  But I love the name Morrighan anyway, and with some people already calling me MM, wouldn’t you know it?  I love M&M’s myself!

So Morrighan Muse it is.

Which means that I’m gonna need some love – er, likes.  So if you have the time, and are inclined to do so, would you help my author page get some love over on Facebook?  I won’t spam you – heck, I don’t even know where to start to spam anyone on FB.  But since it’s linked to my Wattpad page and soon, to this blog, you will get notifications of my latest stories as well as my first published book!

Ready to spread the love a bit?  Here’s the link.

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