birthday

i missed your birthday four days ago
even though I’d made a mental note the day before
to remember it and say a prayer for you
but that day came and went, just like the year before

I still have the travel clock you brought home one day
it still ticks and tocks all through the night
i used to know what time it was wherever you were
until the day you died, alone and contrite

that clock is all i have of you now
it’s the only thing  you left behind
along with the secret life you lived the entire time
the truth your children deserved, denied

so i’ll let your birthday come and go
maybe i’ll light a candle if i remember
i still think of you with every tick tock of that clock
did you ever think of us or were we simply a bother?

overdramatic

i’m being overdramatic again
that’s clearly plain to see
for it’ll be a year since you left the way you did
and i miss the way life used to be

when everything seemed so simple then
but only, it turned out, on the outside
i didn’t understand the depths of your pain
i couldn’t see how hard you tried

to keep it all in behind your smile
the loneliness you felt inside
what do i know about true love?
clearly i’m unqualified

so i’ll just be overdramatic right now
as i continue trying to understand
but maybe that’s the point in all this
maybe it’s just the way things are supposed to stand

that you do you and i do me
you left on your own terms while i continue holding on
searching for answers until the end of my days
until i’ll forget you and finally move on