Too Much by Tyler Ford

do you remember the first time you were called annoying? 
how your breath stopped short in your chest 
the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze
the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue?
your eyes never left the floor that day.
you were 13.

you're 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for "too long," 
apologies littering every other sentence,
words trailing off a cliff you haven't jumped from in 7 years.
i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard
for 3 minutes
for 10 minutes
for 2 hours
forever.

there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, y our heart; 
mostly because they can't handle their own. but you will never be and have never been
"too much."
from Poetry July/August 2015

do you remember the first time you were called annoying?
how your breath stopped short in your chest
the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your
cheeks were ablaze
the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that
got lost on your tongue?
your eyes never left the floor that day.
you were 13.

you’re 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you
talk about your interests for “too long,”
apologies littering every other sentence,
words trailing off a cliff you haven’t jumped from in 7 years.
i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than
3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard
for 3 minutes
for 10 minutes
for 2 hours
forever.

there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty,
your wisdom, y our heart;
mostly because they can’t handle their own. but you will never be
and have never been
“too much.”

~Tyler Ford

being real

i now come from a forgotten time
when friendships were face to face
so that if one ever ghosted you in the end
you’d have an idea of the disagreement
that happened, some sort of basis.
but there is none of that now
and that doesn’t even account for this pandemic,
the lockdown and the fear,
friendships have simply become virtual
where it becomes so difficult to tell
when one’s being real or insincere.
and while connections – even deep ones –
still do happen, there’s one glaring detail
that will always be hard to frame,
when they disappear as they often do,
did they trust you enough
to tell you their real name?

rebuilt

i learned a lot this year
most of all, about myself
like the fact that i still make so many mistakes
and that i need to take better care of my mental health

that i still need to hear a good word or two
just a little bit now and then
it’s not selfish at all, i’ve come to realize
for one can’t keep taking the hits again and again

without some reprieve,
just a a little place of safety
one i found when i stumbled into you
and you said in not so general terms that i was worthy

little bits here and there
words of comfort and positivity
they helped put this broken heart together again
thank you for all the words that rebuilt me

showing me there’s a warrior deep inside
even if all i am some days is full-on empathy
it took some time but it was one thing i needed to learn this year
that i’m stronger than most assume me to be

so thank you for staying, my friend,
even when all you wanted was to go
but you’ve made my world better by staying just a tad longer
thank you for giving me time to let go



a simple wish

it’s christmas eve and i hope you find yourself
surrounded with love, friends near and far, and good cheer

for although this year might not be like any other
we’ve experienced before, my hope is that love never changes,

that friendships continue to exist and strengthen
even through a layer of digital screens and beautifying filters,

and even with all the data bouncing between us,
there is still that thread of all things true –

friendship, lovingkindness, and trust
and know always that i am thankful for you

Listen

armor

i thought i was being smart
to listen to your words with a guarded heart
but little by little, your words made it through
and before i knew it, my heart lay bare before you

i didn’t even realize it happening
until tears ran down my cheeks, so unsettling
how could such words break through all the years
of walls and fences meant to cover up my fears?

maybe that’s just one of the ways love weaves its magic
little by little, healing armored hearts so fragile
reminding them there’s magic out there just waiting
if only they step out of their armor and taste the rain

2020 © morrighansmuse

why

let them talk behind your back
let them ridicule the way you dress and look
let them tell him he can do better than what he got
let them even help him look

let them laugh about the poetry you write
let them joke about the worlds you built
let them exchange looks whenever you arrive
yet never let them drive you to feel any guilt

but let yourself feel the feelings you need
maybe even break down and cry
but when morning comes get the fuck out of bed
and never forget your why

why you do the things you do
why you love the people you love
why you stand up for the ones you care for
why you don’t care if you get kicked and shoved

you don’t have to explain yourself to them
you don’t even have to say goodbye
just pick yourself up every time you fall
and when things get tougher, never forget your why.

use your words

it’s so easy to say things in the heat of the moment
not caring how the words tumble out
words that carry more than they mean to
words that hurt, maim, and cast doubt

for words have power more than we know
they’ve helped create civilizations and have torn them down too
words have led people to the depths of utter despair
but they’ve also helped so many pull through

it isn’t a difficult task to ask for, really,
to use our words to bring out the good
it’s not easy but it’s worth a try every single day
and maybe some day, we can all be understood.

one more time

like a butterfly landing

on my unsuspecting shoulder

or the palm of my hand,

i will hold your love close to my heart

knowing you can leave

any time you want.

but if i could be selfish

for just one moment

i would ask you to stay

just a bit longer

long enough to feel your heart

beat against my cheek

just one more time.

if i could

if i could give you all the love in the world,
i would write it all down in a book
in all the languages that i could think of
no matter how long it took

so i caught all the words I needed one day
telling them they were meant for someone precious to me
a good friend with the biggest heart
who reminded me i was loved and that i was worthy

of everything good the world had to offer
just like he deserved only the very best, too,
i wanted him to know all this and more
so i begged Love to be still before my plan would fall through

but all the words had other plans
as they struggled to lift off the page
ruffling the pages of the book in front of me
for they did not wish to be caught nor caged

we do best when we’re set free, they said
and that’s exactly what you’re going to do
so you can give him all the love you could ever want
matching every bit of love he gave to you

for some things in life are simpler than they seem
like a heartfelt wish sent with the purest intentions
so if you wish to let him know how you truly feel
just say the words
, no need to make an impression

and after some thought, that’s exactly what i did
as i flipped through all the pages and let the words go
for you already know how much you mean to me,
i just wanted the rest of the world to know.