love yourself first
sounds like the easiest thing to do
until you have to put it into action
and realize it’s not as easy as it looks
for how can i love that person
looking right back at me in the mirror?
with her crooked smile and sagging skin
surely there’s been some kind of error
some hashtag someone cooked up
putting more pressure on those struggling to be
comfortable in their own skin
people like me
for how can i love myself the way i am
so far removed from the person i yearn to be
can i really find it within myself like they say i can
can’t they see all the imperfections i see?
that’s when i heard a whisper,
a faint voice from deep within
yes, you can love me for me, my body said,
you’ve always been perfect underneath this skin.
for everything that you are
can’t be found only on the outside
there’s more to you than meets the eye
so love yourself first and you’ll have nothing to hide.
what do you dream of
when you close your eyes?
do you see a future filled with possibilities
or do you see a past littered with lies—
the ones you told yourself
when you thought no one was looking
the ones that shaped the way you saw the world
making you believe you didn’t deserve anything?
where did things change for you?
when did they fall apart?
was it when they said you couldn’t do anything right
or was it when he broke your heart?
was it the day they promised you the world
but never came back?
will you believe me if i tell you
that you can get yourself back on track
to a place where possibilities are endless
where hope and joy spring from deep within
one step at a time, one win at a time,
all we have to do is believe… and begin.
some days, it can be tough
when we realize we’ll never be enough
for the world that’s waiting out there
demanding that we be perfect and live a life with flair
gain more followers! build up your likes!
do something original, they say, and watch your numbers spike!
but as uncertainty creeps in and you wonder what you’re doing wrong
it’s easy to forget that once you turn everything off, you’re still as strong
as you were in the morning before you took it all in—anxiety and self-doubt—
time to kick those naysayers out
for you’re okay just the way you are with your easy smile and gentle heart
so come sit with me a while, it’s time for a fresh start 🙂
if i were to do it all over again, i’d tell the younger version of myself to love herself more. i’d tell her to leave every man who told her she wasn’t good enough for she’s stronger than she’ll ever know.
i’d tell her she wasn’t fat, that being a size 12 was just fine. i’d remind her that she thought the same thing when she was a size ten even if she won’t remember that time.
i’d tell her she’ll create art she’ll later destroy, and that she’ll create something that will live forever. i’d tell her to speak her truth now even if she’ll change her mind about things later.
i’d tell her to report the rape for she did nothing wrong that night. i’d beg her to stop carrying the shame of not putting up a fiercer fight.
i’d remind her not to try smoking even if all she wanted was to write about it. but she won’t have to worry about the weed because she’ll never learn to hold it.
i’d tell her to stay for the right reasons even though she’d end up doing it for the wrong ones. but you can only control so much – you win some and you lose some.
i wanted to tell her these things and more but she ran off before i could, too intent to live her life on her own terms even if she’d always be misunderstood.
that’s all i can say
thank you for showing me
the good in every day
the happy smiles,
each naughty thought,
every honest answer
everything about you
i’m so grateful for
and if others can’t see it
let them go
just don’t forget the strength
inside your heart
for your whole is so much better
than just the parts
that others want you to be
unable to see what i’ve always seen
a soul so fearless and loving
it’s what you’ve always been.
they say people come into your life
for a reason. is that why you came in
like a hurricane i never expected
but in the end, i desperately needed?
for i'd been asleep at the wheel, too lost
in my sadness to know i had to wake up
if i wanted something worthwhile to sow,
but only if i plucked the courage
to pursue my passion without
any hesitation and finish
what needed to be done after i forgot
what it felt like to have fun and
fall in love with you even if
you only meant to stay
until i found my way.
how i love sunday mornings
when you pull me ever so close
under the covers, kissing, teasing
little moments i love the most
like when you growl playfully in my ear
and call me, baby girl
your touch sends tingles from my head to my toes
and those butterflies, how their wings unfurl
i love the pauses between your kisses
when you look up at me and laugh
a mischievous sound with the power to undo me
you are my love, my life, my other half
let’s stay in bed for the rest of the day
and lose ourselves in each others’ arms
crave me, make love to me
you’re the only one who can calm my storms
i searched for you in my heart today
but i couldn’t find you anywhere
wasn’t that what you promised me
that i’d always find you there?
was it all a lie then
those promises that you made
spoken to ease my fears and loneliness
all this time, was it all a game?
did you lose control? is that what happened
when things got too much?
was that when you decided to leave –
when the tide became too rough?
did you have enough of the games we played
the ones that left us both drowning
in the lies that we told each other,
all the while constantly seeking
for more than we could ever give
more than what we had deep inside
is that why i can’t find you in my heart anymore?
the day you left, was that when our love finally died?
i found a post-it note from you today
it fell from the book you last read
tell her she's beautiful, you wrote
words you whispered as you kissed my forehead
the day you told me i'd find love again
that all i had to do was close my eyes
and you'd be right there with me
and that we'd both be just fine
that i'd always feel your love wherever i went
as i'd run headfirst into love
i just had to trust myself again
and then you were gone
there are days when you just have to know
where you stand in this game called life
where family values still amount to something
if you only take the time to set down that knife
you're too busy using to cut off what matters
your own eyes
are in tatters
and you've forgotten respect and integrity
too blinded in your own lies to see
that you're nothing but a hollow spineless coward
and you'll never be the man you were meant to be
until you stop,
take a breath,
and look beyond the hatred you've sown
but i doubt you'd do that, your ear pressed too deep
against the field of lies you've grown all this time
against your own