see him

when was the last time you hugged him?
when was the last time you cared
to know how his day went?
do you even see him there?
you’re too preoccupied by other things
more important than the one who matters the most
when will you realize you’re drifting farther away
every time you think the worst –
that the little boy you wanted is different
he’s not like all the other boys
he doesn’t play or talk like everyone else
the words he says are not noise
So see him, look at him,
tell him you care
play games with him, be there for him
don’t let him just stand there
waiting for you to see him
waiting for you to care
wanting nothing more than an embrace
from the father who’s not really there.

2 thoughts on “see him

  1. Though my youngest is quite a bit older than yours, the same thoughts have crossed my mind. After seeing firsthand the disaster of a relationship that my dad had with his children after mom died I had a serious talk with my husband about his relationship with his children. I told him not to depend on me and to build his own relationship with them. Especially as they get older and mom and dad are not the exact center of their world anymore, that relationship has to be able to weather some storms. A beautiful piece of writing.

    1. Thanks, Carly. I had that serious talk with him now although he kept bringing it back to – “the house isn’t tidy; my being upset at the world is YOUR fault” – because it’s easier to blame me until I asked him when was the last time he even hugged his kid and he couldn’t answer that because it’s been months – and he lives in the same house. That hurt the most for me, for the kid who doesn’t think the way other kids do and who can’t quite articulate what’s missing to his dad but he does so to me because he sure loves his hugs. It’s strange, this being a mother. You’ll starve so your kid can have something to eat. You’ll take the passive aggressive blows so your kid won’t deal with it–until they do and hell hath no fury as a mother pissed off. But now he knows and that’s what matters.

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