As a writer, I do research…lots of research, and so when I saw this prompt, the only thing that came to mind had to do with my current research into the world of kink. I tried to think of other types of punishments to go with a nice weekend prompt, but it was a no-go. So BDSM it is, or what little I’ve learned so far about it.
One of the things that really struck me in my current research, and maybe this comes with understanding things better as I grow older, is the concept of punishment in kink. Punishment in the world of kink involves consent and this is what is most interesting to me because the punishment I remember in the real world involves no consent at all.
I remember when I was a kid growing up in the Philippines, if we did something bad, we got spanked. My mom, aunts, and grandparents would get really creative in punishing, not just me, but all of us, especially during the summers when all the kids probably drove them crazy for we congregated like flies to honey – honey, being wherever trouble brewed. And so they got creative with the instruments used for spanking us while we, the kids, got tougher and laughed at their attempts to make us cry. Their favorite became the handle of a feather duster and I guess here, you’d call it a switch (?). It stung like hell when they’d hit the back of our legs and then we’d all compare our battle scars for the day, our minds defaulting to the idea that while it’s bad, we’ll consider it fun. How many lashes did one get versus the other? Are the marks visible? How long before they’d fade away?
This is where research and memory, as much as they appear to come together, also become two separate concepts…
In kink, there is punishment, yes, but there is also consent to be punished. And it takes two – the one giving and the one receiving, and thus consent for both is required. I have to consent to punish you if that’s what you want, and vice versa, I have to give my consent for you to punish me. I know it’s simplistic but I’m also looking at this from an outsider’s point of view although I’m always ready to learn more.
And it’s this dynamic that is most interesting to me as a writer because I always want to know what makes people tick. I’m the person who’ll drive you crazy with the why’s and the how’s. And if you’re wondering what this research on kink is for, it’s for a book that I was supposed to release this year but didn’t because this was the part of the theme that I got stuck on – punishment…and its corresponding consent.