Why do you have to be such a tough writing month? With a deadline looming in five months (I know, five months is a long time), I’m facing a tough rewrite ahead for the sequel of my book, Loving Ashe.
I already wrote the sequel last year, all 110K words of it, so technically, I should be done. And when I serialized it on Wattpad for five months, they even included it in their After Dark app, a curated list of stories suited for reading, well, after dark. And I know, I know, it’s “only” Wattpad, but I think I wrote a good story, one that even left readers polarized.
After all, it’s not easy seeing your favorite character fall off his pedestal. A leopard, after all, can’t hide its spots, so naturally a few readers were upset. But who was it that said, kill your darlings?
So the rewrite is a tough one, because a part of me does NOT want to rewrite the damn thing. I actually do like the way I’d written it – women’s fiction with elements of romance written from the male character’s point of view – but somehow, the business part of me thinks that I need to change it to fit the trends of the moment, putting more focus on the romance and the kink and the drama.
Who cares if it’s me selling out my characters and the story so that I can make it easier for the prospective reader to click the BUY button. I am selling out, so who am I kidding?
But it’s fizzling, though I tell myself I probably just need more coffee at 9:30 pm and maybe the muse will start talking to me again. But he probably isn’t thrilled to see his story rewritten and his writer selling him out, and all this while other muses and their storylines dance in my head, taunting me.
So I guess what I’m saying, February, is that for the first time in a long time, my muse and I aren’t on speaking terms and it’s driving me crazy. I finished rewriting Chapter 2 and was feeling quite proud of myself; I even added a bit of a sex scene in there for that person who told me I should have just had Ashe and Riley have sex in the elevator (Chapter 2) and called the novel done. So this development is definitely a win…right?
Only it doesn’t feel like one, not when there’s this huge struggle going on inside my head (or I need more caffeine at 9:30 pm) and the muse isn’t speaking to me at all. Or maybe that’s my intuition telling me, NO! Don’t sell out!
Maybe I should just stop for a while and listen, and hear what the muse has to say. I don’t want to write to market (which is what this rewrite is all about), at least not with this story, not when it consumed me half of last year to write it and the words were literally singing from my fingers, but now the thought of rewriting it is consuming me for all the wrong reasons.
So, yup, February, it’s a tough month for writer-me. But I sure hope everyone else is having it a lot easier.