I’m in love with this contraption
really, I am
five and a half inches may not mean much
but it feels like I’m in the grand slam

Maybe I’m just too shallow
maybe I’m just too dense
but I love the way it feels in my hand
I love how it’s not all pretense

for size really doesn’t matter to me,
or who knows? Maybe it does
I can barely grip this thing with one hand
oh, how I love the way it does buzz

it always has something to give me
whether I’m sitting still or out for a jaunt
but five and a half inches of pleasure
what more can a girl want?

* Yep, I finally got my iPhone 6 plus!