Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CONFUSION.

I feel out of place now.  It’s a feeling that’s been bothering me for a few weeks, and this morning, after a good night’s sleep –  and an interesting dream that involved some nasty things between the sheets (talk about symbolism!), I knew what I needed to do.

For the past year I’ve fallen into a fandom that I never expected I’d ever fall into.  A year ago, I didn’t even know the word existed.  But fast forward a year later, and here I am, a self-confessed fangirl with DVD’s of North & South, Strike Back (the real first season, now retitled Strike Back Origins by Cinemax), Sparkhouse, an unwatched The Impressionists, The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey (both theatrical release and Extended Edition) and two figurines of Thorin Oakenshield.  The two of them sit on a shelf in front of an envelope from the New Zealand Post containing The Hobbit – Desolation of Smaug postal stamps.

But DVD’s, figurines and stamps don’t make a fandom.  Fans do.  And after a year in this fandom, I’ve finally realized why I was never in one before.  It’s simply not the place for me.

I could enumerate the reasons why but I don’t want to waste my breath, nor expend the energy of typing them out.  I simply don’t belong in it, and it’s time for me to get out.

Thank you, Daily Prompt, for waking me up from this nightmare where I clearly don’t belong in.  Now I need to return to real life and dust off poor Thorin.  I think I just saw a spider crawling up the wall behind him.

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EDITED TO ADD:  Thank you so much for all the comments, congratulations and well-wishes to my life post-RA fangirl – but let me take this time to say that it does not mean that I’ve abandoned “the muse.”  He is alive and well.

I apologize if I don’t address each one individually.  It just feels weird to do that in a post-mortem. 

Daily Prompt

9 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

  1. MM – I hope it is not unwanted for a fandom member to comment on this. I am torn between wishing you all the best and congratulating you for having come to some kind of constructive closure, or expressing regret. I am on a day of positive highs, so I will go for the former: Best wishes for your future. I hope that you will look back and not see the time spent in this community as wasted. Everything changes constantly, and I admire you for embracing that. I remain subscribed to your blogs. x

  2. If it’s not doing you any good, well done for extricating yourself!
    I’ve never been into fandom, funnily enough. I say “funnily enough” as I am a huge fan of several franchises, both book and screen, but for some reason I’ve never really been bothered by the minutiae, just the overall “feel”. Therefore I’ve never really felt the urge to write something from any of those worlds either.
    Strange, because I would have thought I would be the first person to get into fandom stuff 🙂

  3. You already know I wish you well MM, so I’m glad you’ve reached a decision that feels right for you. Best of luck with your writing, both short and long term.

  4. Naturally I would want you to do what is right for you. Just know that I personally deeply l miss you if you close your blog. If your blog remains, but just becomes something other than related to the fandom, I will still read your blog and want to hear what you have to say. I truly hope that whatever direction you take in life brings you pleasure and happiness.

  5. You know how I feel about this, but I’ll be repetitious, because you know, that’s my MO.
    You welcomed me into this fandom, and sympathized with me when I wandered into a minefield of ‘thou shalt nots’ (subject to change without notice) which I could not have imagined. I tried to do the same for you, but you just got worn down.
    I don’t want to disturb any balance you’ve achieved by revisiting the all-too-recent past, but I just hope that you will allow me to say that you are a great boon to the fandom, and offered something different, and you should never discount the value of that.
    And I hope you recognize that value in future, and don’t feel that you have to bow to anyone’s rules, or let people comment on your blog if they are causing you angst or heartache, here or elsewhere. Ban their asses! It’s *your* blog, *your* rules.
    That even includes me (although of course I am too fuzzy and cute to ban 😉 )

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