Daily Prompt: Tainted

Tell us about a journey — whether a physical trip you took, or an emotional one.

Daily Prompt

Photo by mbshane
Photo by mbshane

Up until that moment I never knew my wish would ever come true, that I would finally leave the place that I’d called home for the last twenty-two years and make my way to a land that had, for so long, represented a new life for me, a new beginning.

Yet why was I crying as I looked out the window of the 747 as it barreled through the ethereal clouds over the Pacific Ocean?

The man next to me, who spoke no English, peered at me curiously as I wiped away the tears and leaned back against my seat.  I felt small within it, as if it were threatening to engulf me and make me disappear forever, just as I would have wanted it to do.

You see, I’d never expected things to turn out this way.

At least not this way – not when a three-month old baby lay sleeping in his crib where I had last left him, not knowing that the mother who’d held him from the very first day he’d been born and never once left his side for even one night, was never coming back for him.

It tore my heart into many pieces then, having to turn away from him for that final time for I knew that if I turned to look back at him again, I would never have left.

I never should have left.

“You’re tainted now,” my father said as he handed me my airline ticket.  “He didn’t want to marry you and now no one will want to marry you either.  You’re damaged goods, that’s really what you are now and I’m only doing what’s best for you.”

“You’ll find someone nice over there,” my aunt said with a forced smile as she helped me fold the clothes I was taking with me.  Most of them, if not all of them, were her own clothes, all of them winter ones, which weren’t my style at all, but I’d been taught never to say no for when I’d always said no in the past, bad things always happened.

“And when you do,” she added hopefully, “you can come back and take the baby with you for that will be your home now.  This place is no longer your home for you’ve shamed the family name.  Even your grandmother says so and she can’t even go to her parties like she used to without people asking.”

So I was on a mission now, I thought as I forced myself to look out the window again.  I was supposed to find a husband of my own, and that would be my redemption.  It would be my fuck-you-I-made-it to all the naysayers who’d told me that I was now damaged goods and that no one would want me – at least no one from the hometown.

For even if they didn’t know the truth then, one day they would know.  They would know that I was tainted.

“Success is the best revenge,” I’d read in a fashion magazine once and I knew that I had to embrace it as fiercely as I could, for it was the only thing that I could hold on to now.  I was alone, traveling to strange land that I had wanted to escape to for so long, but I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.

For as fresh hot tears streamed down my cheeks once again, I knew that the only right reason, even if it meant that I never would have been on this 747 all alone, lay sleeping in his crib unaware that at that moment, he, too, was utterly and completely alone.

No, I’d never expected things to turn out this way.

10 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Tainted

  1. A great story but very sad. I’m already hoping she finds someone and returns to her baby – it’s amazing that you got me so involved in this woman’s life in such a short story!

    1. It’s amazing the stories you hear when people cry in planes – or anywhere for that matter. But only if we bother to comfort them, I guess, and are ready to hear their story 🙂

      Glad you liked it and despite its lack of brevity, sucked you right in.

  2. Vividly written. I think part of its appeal lies in its potential universality of appeal … it is particular to this narrator but also a story I’ve heard so many times.

    1. Thank you. Yes, it’s a story we hear over and over again, in many languages all over the world.

      And sometimes it’s really your own story all wrapped up in a neat package called a Daily Prompt.

      1. I thought I remembered that, but I didn’t want to presume.

        I watched exactly this same sort of thing happen to a lot of girls in my own rural farm community. They just couldn’t be put on planes and gotten rid of …

      2. I’m not quite sure if that’s a good thing or not. Not that being shipped off in a plane is a good thing at all either, but that’s just the way life is I guess, and people are left to roll with the punches, get up, brush the dust off and keep on going.

      3. They got expelled from school. So they were “still around,” except you had to make an extra effort to see them outside of church … but the talk was the same. Taintedness.

I'd love to hear what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s