The smell of leather and dark woods greeted her as she pushed the door close, and she took a deep intake of breath to take it all in.
Taking a little break from poetry today to read one of my short stories about love, inspired by a real-life event and a young man I fell in love with so long ago. I hope you like it.
what do you dream of
when you close your eyes?
do you see a future filled with possibilities
or do you see a past littered with lies—
the ones you told yourself
when you thought no one was looking
the ones that shaped the way you saw the world
making you believe you didn’t deserve anything?
where did things change for you?
when did they fall apart?
was it when they said you couldn’t do anything right
or was it when he broke your heart?
was it the day they promised you the world
but never came back?
will you believe me if i tell you
that you can get yourself back on track
to a place where possibilities are endless
where hope and joy spring from deep within
one step at a time, one win at a time,
all we have to do is believe… and begin.
i’m tired of always being the strong one
some days i just need to let my shields down
just for a time so i can exhale again
maybe then i can remember when
you used to keep me safe from harm
until that night you left before the dawn
after telling me you’d be there when i’d wake
only you weren’t and so here i wait
being the strong one all by myself
out of control, out of my depth
losing count of the days since you left
with my heart in your hand, my soul is bereft
all i have left is the memory of you
your voice, your words pulling me through
every line perfectly crafted, well thought out
filled with love and kindness, without a doubt
reminding me to be strong, because there’s no other way
to make it through each challenging day
and face the world with my head held high
wondering no more the reasons why
you had to leave the way you did
until the day you return to me, your dreams fulfilled
your hand on my heart again, feeling each heartbeat
let me close my eyes now, time to go back to sleep
You are very beautiful to me,
even with the imperfections that you see.
The too-wide eyes, that loping smile,
the way you wear your hair, your very own style.
Don’t listen to what others tell you,
nor pay attention to what they say you should do,
that each line upon your skin a mark of future correction.
Don’t they know that underneath it all, you’re perfection?
A nip here, a tuck there –
beauty at a price, everywhere,
but beneath all that is just decay.
Is that really the game you want to play?
So smile that smile and be brave
Become that peaceful soul you crave.
For you’re perfect just the way you are,
beautiful beneath every wrinkle, every scar
Dry your eyes, stop wishing to become
like everyone else, empty as a deafening drum.
Stop changing yourself to fit into what you think is true,
strive to be at peace with your soul – just…just be you
And as you look at yourself – so beautiful, so free,
unencumbered by what the world defines as pretty,
though acceptance can be the most difficult thing, it can be done.
It’s a hard road, I know – it’s why I’m still undone.
is there a secret to falling in love
or is being in lust with you
so much easier on the heart
that i should refrain
from letting my mind tell me
to stop and just go for the ride
and fall and drown,
and like a magic trick,
you are my muse
and that is the truth, at least for now,
pulling me from the depths of despair
i find myself in somehow
preferring the comfort of the darkness
when there is so much light out there
until your smile, your eyes, your voice
prove the perfect snare
so keep me under your spell
for as long as you truly can
dance with me to the tune of my wildness.
be my hero, be my man
and i’ll write you until my tears run out
and i’ll need to cut open a vein
and let my fears and dreams and love spill out,
and all that my heart cannot contain.
she found herself
in opposition to her heart
who wanted only him
and no one else
even as her mind rebelled
and said, please take care,
for if all he wants
is sex now,
what else is next?
and so much more…
hush, she said,
for he is my cure.
Note from Liz: So ends the Poem-a-Day challenge I gave myself for March 2021. I hope you enjoyed them!
i don’t care what you look like for i know what’s deep inside your heart
you’re a man who gives me what i need even if tears you apart
for it takes more than knowing the right words to say, it’s knowing when and why
it’s being there for me the only way you know how, your voice is my nightly lullaby
as you tell me i’m a good person and that i did my best at the end of every day
letting me rest my head on your chest as you whisper my troubles away
and even when i say bad things in anger, lashing out at you the only way i know how
you stay when you could easily leave. you bring me back to the here and now
know my name
though i go by many
know it anyway
for it’s the only way
i know you see me
and see that beyond
the masks i wear
to protect my heart,
only you know
what lies inside
wishing it’ll remain unhurt
until the game we play
finally runs its course
and i’ll be left with nothing
but bitter remorse
i rushed in
too fast and too soon
to check the room.
was i wanted?
could i stay?
do you think me weird
for the things i say?
awkward, that’s me
although that’s the way
i’ve always been
too quick to jump in
too fast to trust
when will i ever learn
that some things,
i woke up to a beautiful sight today,
your face veiled in the dawning light
before losing myself in your warm embrace
remembering the words you said last night
we’ve come a long way, you and me
with each passing day building up to the next
secrets told and dreams shared
yet everything about us is so complex
but for simplicity’s sake, tell me again how i touch you
and i’ll whisper the ways you continue to change my world
how you remind me i’m worthy in so many ways
for with every word spoken or unspoken, my heart learns
i love waking up next to you
nestled in the comfort of your arms
i love waking up to the sound of your voice
its deep tones tinged with sleep is my daily alarm
but let’s stay under the covers a few minutes more
for i crave to feel your ache
and lose myself in your need for what i can give you
until we both come apart and break.
you let me find
your quiet place,
and asked me
to sit with you
and in the ensuing
silence we said words
we’d never shared
with anyone before –
words of comfort,
love and so much more
words meant only
for our lonely souls to hear
as you lay your hand
over my heart and said,
no matter where i go,
wherever i may be,
just close your eyes
and find me right here.
no one knows how deep our scars run
and sometimes not even we do
until someone comes and traces the marks
and to our horror, the wounds open up again
far sooner than we were prepared to staunch the flow
of not just blood, but memories and shame
the very ones that kept us scarred and broken,
long after we’ve forgotten
but for your words and the sound of your voice,
this time something was different
for together with the stigma and the blame
that may have accompanied them, there, too,
an acceptance that none of it was my fault
or my own doing, nothing i deserved or asked for.
and i can finally move on because you saw something
i long forgot, that i am worthy and i am worth