jacaranda

it’s the first of june
and the morning is quiet
the sun is shining
and the jacarandas are abloom

but last night was a different story
groups in hoodies stalked the streets
carrying baseball bats and crowbars
leaving no receipts

but it’s morning now
it’s the start of new day
jacaranda flowers dry on the sidewalks
how did everything go astray?

sunrise

the sun woke me up today
it told me something I’d almost forgotten
it’s going to be a good day, he said
bet you don’t hear that often.

not recently, I replied as i stretched
feeling my back lengthen and my skin warm
kissed by the sun this lovely morning,
i hope this is going to be the norm

for even as the world seems all afraid
of something it cannot see
the birds still sing and the breeze still blows
and all this happens with… or without me

oh, don’t be so negative, mr sun said
as i made my bed and got ready for the day
life will always go on whether you’re ready or not, he said
just put on a smile; your body hears everything you say.

what now

gone are the smiles you’re used to seeing
hidden behind masks meant to protect
gone are the hugs you used to look forward to
even the ones you least expect

from people you love and cherish
or those you only see a few times a year
gone is everything you used to take for granted
that loving touch from someone you hold dear

so we put on a brave face behind the masks we wear
making sure our smiles are evident in our eyes
as we remind ourselves that there’s much to be thankful for
our good health, our homes, the clear blue skies

when this is over, we shall all meet again
we’ll hug each other and hold on fast
we’ll let the masks fall, one by one
revealing a quiet resilience that’s meant to last

broken vow

the earth seems no longer silent
it’s speaking to us loud and clear
take better care of me, ambitious humans
or lose everything you hold dear

keep listening to the naysayers and deniers
who tell you that everything is just fine
keep buying everything your heart desires
no matter what’s on the line

more coal, more oil, more lumber
more energy than they can ever store
just don’t look at the cost that’s paid in return
all that matters is that a select few have more

but mother earth seems to be speaking to us right now
in the only way she knows how
in her wildfires, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions,
each catastrophe, a broken vow

to take care of her and give back as much as we take
only we’ve forgotten every single one
so we take and we destroy and we let go
of the only home we know until she’s gone.

over you

i’m over it
i’m over you
i’m done figuring out the whys
i’m done thinking of you

because at the end of the day
it boils down to this:
i kept on going
and you simply quit

so i’m done with the wondering
i’m done with the regret
it’s time to move on along
but to never forget

that life can be beautiful
life can be kind
there’s so much to be discovered
just waiting for the right time

but only if you believe
life’s constant ebb and flow
that some days you win and some days you lose
and some days you just have to let go

thankful

i’m thankful for family and friends
the ones who still remain true
i’m thankful for my good health
even if i blow a workout or two

i’m thankful for the good days
even the bad ones when they come
i’m grateful for each day i get to wake up
and write the stories till they’re done

and as i sit at the table today
to enjoy good company and pie
i’ll be thinking of you visiting this blog-
thank you for stopping by

what did you see?

when you looked in the mirror that last day,
what did you see?
did you see only the little broken girl
that you used to be?
did you think she’d remain wounded forever
unable to get out of her head?
did you ever hope that one day she’d live the rest of her life
instead of ending up dead?

did you ever consider, just once, that things
could have turned out alright,
maybe you’d had found someone to love like you once did
or maybe it was yourself all this time?
i wish you’d have waited to find out all the answers
instead of me asking them tonight
i wish you’d have given this life one more chance…
i wish you’d have put up a fight.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

Mindlessly

I’ve moved past from all the days wishing
you were living this life with me.
Did you ever dream the same –
do you like what you see?
Life moves on as we
follow along
mindlessly –
then we’re
gone.

*Originally published 4/10/14

Nonet: A nonet is a type of poem which has nine lines, with the first line having 9 syllables, the second 8 syllables, the third 7 until the ninth line has only one. Some nonets may also have an iambic meter (stress on every other syllable).

a worthwhile sin (NYC 2000)

i met you one night and my whole life
changed, in a blink of an eye blind
i could not, just could not remain the same
impassive, disenchanted, disemboweled within
my soul in desperate need of
a worthwhile sin
awakening the ghost
of the woman i once was,
a specter of the soul that breathed
its final gasp, and for a brief
moment, i’m home
at last