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out of my depth

i’m tired of always being the strong one
some days i just need to let my shields down
just for a time so i can exhale again
maybe then i can remember when
you used to keep me safe from harm
until that night you left before the dawn
after telling me you’d be there when i’d wake
only you weren’t and so here i wait
being the strong one all by myself
out of control, out of my depth
losing count of the days since you left
with my heart in your hand, my soul is bereft

all i have left is the memory of you
your voice, your words pulling me through
every line perfectly crafted, well thought out
filled with love and kindness, without a doubt
reminding me to be strong, because there’s no other way
to make it through each challenging day
and face the world with my head held high
wondering no more the reasons why
you had to leave the way you did
until the day you return to me, your dreams fulfilled
your hand on my heart again, feeling each heartbeat
let me close my eyes now, time to go back to sleep

Featured

complete

do you know what you did to me
when i first met you?

do you have any idea how you saved me
how the sound of your voice pulled me through

from the darkness i was drowning from
your words of unconditional love

were the reminders i needed to hear
of all the things i’m deserving of

like life’s little joys
just when i was at my worst

hearing only the awful things i told myself
words so unrelenting… unrehearsed

but somehow you undid all that
even if i had to listen to you on repeat

that even after the day you’d leave
i knew i was already complete.

reason

they say people come into your life 
for a reason. is that why you came in 
like a hurricane i never expected 
but in the end, i desperately needed?
for i'd been asleep at the wheel, too lost
in my sadness to know i had to wake up
if i wanted something worthwhile to sow,
but only if i plucked the courage 
to pursue my passion without 
any hesitation and finish 
what needed to be done after i forgot 
what it felt like to have fun and
fall in love with you even if
you only meant to stay 
until i found my way. 

rewritten

you changed the language
of my heart and the alphabet
of my soul, little things
that aren’t so little
but i just thought
you should know before
you leave to find your own way
i can never repay you enough
but because of you
i’m happy for the little things
again, even the most trivial
of stuff like the memory
of your love and your hand
over this broken heart, the sound
of your voice that echoes still
reminding me i’m beautiful,
worthy and smart, constantly
rewriting what was once written
there, turning apathy and self-loathing
into passion and self-care. and
all this because once upon
a time, you dared.

sunday mornings

how i love sunday mornings
when you pull me ever so close
under the covers, kissing, teasing
little moments i love the most

like when you growl playfully in my ear
and call me, baby girl
your touch sends tingles from my head to my toes
and those butterflies, how their wings unfurl

i love the pauses between your kisses
when you look up at me and laugh
a mischievous sound with the power to undo me
you are my love, my life, my other half

let’s stay in bed for the rest of the day
and lose ourselves in each others’ arms
crave me, make love to me
you’re the only one who can calm my storms

games we played

i searched for you in my heart today
but i couldn’t find you anywhere
wasn’t that what you promised me
that i’d always find you there?

was it all a lie then
those promises that you made
spoken to ease my fears and loneliness
all this time, was it all a game?

did you lose control? is that what happened
when things got too much?
was that when you decided to leave –
when the tide became too rough?

did you have enough of the games we played
the ones that left us both drowning
in the lies that we told each other,
all the while constantly seeking

for more than we could ever give
more than what we had deep inside
is that why i can’t find you in my heart anymore?
the day you left, was that when our love finally died?


post-it note

i found a post-it note from you today
it fell from the book you last read
tell her she's beautiful, you wrote 
words you whispered as you kissed my forehead
the day you told me i'd find love again
that all i had to do was close my eyes
and you'd be right there with me
and that we'd both be just fine
that i'd always feel your love wherever i went
as i'd run headfirst into love
i just had to trust myself again
        and then you were gone


strife

there are days when you just have to know 
where you stand in this game called life 
where family values still amount to something
if you only take the time to set down that knife
you're too busy using to cut off what matters
your own eyes 
your heart 
     your soul
are in tatters 
and you've forgotten respect and integrity
too blinded in your own lies to see
that you're nothing but a hollow spineless coward
and you'll never be the man you were meant to be
until you stop, 
     take a breath, 
and look beyond the hatred you've sown
but i doubt you'd do that, your ear pressed too deep
against the field of lies you've grown all this time
plotting 
     plotting
against your own

It’s Okay to be Different

Did you know it’s okay to be different?
my son said to me today
when I told him he needed to fit in,
that way things will be okay.

I like being myself, he said,
I like being me.
And in his eyes, I saw my fear
for a world that he cannot yet see

A world that may have lost kindness
and understanding so long ago
a world that won’t have any patience
for things they no longer have time to know

that not everyone is going to fit in
some people just like being the way they are
unique and smart, beautiful and kind
different like every shining star

but if there’s one thing i know
as we journey together through all this
i’ll raise him to be strong for himself and others
and to always stand up for those easily dismissed


woman

she lived her life the best she could
amongst the wealthy, the arrogant,
the poorest of heart,
the ones who didn’t care
for the likes of her,
who delighted
in tearing her apart

but she rose high above the ashes
though they left her covered
in unseen scars,
believing she was too soft, too weak,
too simple-minded,
yet she made it
through the wars

it gave her depth and substance
making her the strong woman
that you see now
though kindness radiates
from her weary eyes
don’t ever discount the sweat
that lines her brow

for she’s tougher than you think
more courageous
than you or me
and when the time comes
when our mettle is tested
she’ll be the only one left standing,
just wait and see

world kindness day

seeking human kindness
do you know where i can find it?

once upon a time it may have been more abundant
but these days i hate to admit

that it’s scarce and barely catching demand
yet it’s sorely needed by everyone

who may not even remember the feeling anymore
too lost in the lies that’s been spun

like spiderwebs revealed in the sun
difficult now to discern the truth from the lies

silken strands now frayed, betrayed
every bit of truth dangling like caught flies

leaving us starved for a world that used to be
can we still find it within you and me

or is it long gone like his sign says
can you see what i see?

can we make it work and not just for today
but every day for the rest of our lives

let kindness be a way to live each day
and maybe then peace will finally arrive?